If you don't see the standard, be the standard

You are a precious PEARL.

To all the girls out there...

If you don't see the standard, be the standard.

I heard myself crying out, where was this guidance when I was younger??? The fact is, it was there, I just didn't get to see it. Growing up not really having examples that showed great standards, ones that you would be successful living by and that would be powerfully beneficial to you, this was hard and I made a lot of really bad choices because of it.

Emotions can take us so far, and sometimes that "so far" is in the wrong direction. Do you hear what I'm saying?

​Here's an Example: If you reconnect from some with somebody from your past, who suddenly has an interest in you, that can be flattering.

But please stop: #1, just because somebody shows an interest in you, does not make him any good for you! I wish somebody would have really laid that out for me when I was young… like for real!
You are beautifully and wonderfully made, crafted with perfect skill, made to be exactly who you're called to be. You may not understand what that is yet, but there is so much value in you that you would weep if you could see it all, overwhelmed with the value that you hold. 

Standard #2, if someone ever shows interest in you and they have a girlfriend, that is a no-go. Check this out, you will not be the "other girl" - you are a gem, regardless of what you see in yourself, you are priceless. So, if he's very serious about pursuing a potential relationship with you, he needs to decide that the other relationship is not moving towards his future long before he even considers talking to you. If he moves on from another girl straight into a relationship with you, that is no good for your standard. You don't want somebody who sees you as a better option than the last option, cuz that's essentially what that is. You want to wait for the one who says it doesn't matter what options are out there, for him you are his only option… not some weird stalker kind of thing, but because he sees your value, and he's ready to show you the Pearl that you are for the rest of your lives here on Earth. This is not something someone can just say, it needs to be shown, and then you should still pray about it and seek confirmation from God. He sees things in the hearts of people that we can't... He also knows how people will change over time, because we all change - some for the better, some not.

Side note: If there's ever a guy interested in you and he's married, that's a NO NO NO forever. That means he doesn't respect the Covenant of marriage, and if he doesn't respect the Covenant of marriage he's not going to respect you anymore than he respects his current wife, and he's obviously looking at other women while he's married to her - that's a red flag waved all around right in front of your face. Don't buy it. Don't drop your standard ever, especially for somebody who doesn't have a standard.

Standard #3, There is no physical thing that you EVER owe a man unless you are currently married to him. If he truly loves you, and sees your value, he will not expect any physical outlay from you at all until you are married. Social society and media put way too much pressure on us to do things the wrong way, and it ends up getting us mixed up in all kinds of situations, emotional baggage, and a whole lot of other mess that we spend the rest of our lives trying to heal from. You can't give your best to your spouse if you're trying to recover from the mess of your past. There's some things we can't control, and some mistakes we've made already, but that does not mean we have to lower ourselves to those places. We have the authority to stand up and stake our claim with our standards, regardless of whether or not others find them popular.

I've had some great conversations around a restaurant table with several other popular ladies who thought it was silly to wait until you're married. They were talking about a particular friend of one of theirs who waited until she was married to kiss her husband. I decided to add in my own two cents in a very respectful way, that I too waited to be physical with my husband until we were married, and that I have many friends who did the same. They were all very surprised, but I explained to them that of all the friends who I know who waited, none of them are divorced. I shared that there's a bond that can be made that has nothing to do with the physical side of things, that once you're married that is a luxury and bonus. Not one of those ladies mocked me, and I've heard from others that each one of them actually respects me and occasionally asks of the success that I'm having in my life endeavors. 
Too often we get wrapped up with the emotions of what we think other people find acceptable. I'll tell you what, when you put a standard higher than societies', people aren't going to look down on you. If they say anything strange it's because they don't understand it, but there's no way that they can demean you for having a standard higher than what they're used to seeing.

These are just a few nuggets when it comes to setting your own standard. There's a lot more in the word of God, which is where I now go when I'm seeking to understand where I stand on certain activities that would have to do with my standard. I am truly transformed, and a huge part of this is choosing to be the standard even when I don't see the standard. ​